Do Not Compromise Yourself!
Hey guys! I know its been a few days since my last post, but i’ve been pretty sick. Yeah, lot’s of fun, lol, but im taking it all in stride, as signs that my little jelly bean is getting big and strong! I hit the six week mark on Sunday, which is exciting, because it means just one more week before the hubby and I go to our first prenatal appointment on Monday! It also means that he/she is now the size of a sweet pea! Yay!
But anywho, on to todays post. I dont know if any of you guys watch VH1’s Tough Love, but its a show where 7 (?) women who all have problems with dating/choosing men are put through a boot camp kind of thing where they learn valuable things about relationships. While this past Sunday’s episode had a PLETHORA of complete nonsense occur, I would like to focus on Jaqueline, whose problem was that she was SUPER focused on being married by the time she turned 25. Last week, guests were brought to the house, one of which was Jaqueline’s ex, Greg. Now, the problem with Greg was that he didnt want to get married until he was 30. And Jaqueline was really broken hearted about this. And to this….. I say……get over it, dummy. Now, this may seem a little harsh, but seriously. When you venture into the world of adult relationships, with the possibility that it will lead to marriage, it’s important that you are very up front with your intentions from the beginning.
When my husband and I met (Via facebook, btw) future plans, i.e. kids, marriage, financial goals, etc were talked about before we even took the official step into dating. Ladies, DONT WASTE YOUR TIME. If marriage is what you are looking for, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making your intentions clear. Im not, by any means, saying that you should rush a man into marriage, because thats an EXCELLENT way to NOT get a ring on your finger. But what I am saying, dont spend two years of your life with a man only to find out he never wants to get married, doesnt want kids, has horrible finances, has 4 piles of credit card debt, doesnt want to get married until he’s 40, etc, etc. These things should be discussed as soon as it is mutually agreed that the relationship is getting serious.
My husband knew up front how i felt about marriage, kids, and what my financial status was. I let him know that I would only stay in the relationship for a year without a ring on my finger. I was ready to be married, and there was no point in either of us wasting any time. I felt like a year was enough time to get to know each other well enough that we could make a decision on our future. Now, this may not be the case for everyone, everyone has their own time period that they feel is acceptable. I told him he had a year to decide, he proposed after six months. I didnt force him, and it wasnt an ultimatum. I MADE MY INTENTIONS CLEAR. If he didnt agree with my time limit, that would have been fine. God was on my side, so I knew that if Byron was the husband that was meant for me, it would be for me. But Im off on a tangent, lol. The point that Im trying to make is, ladies, dont let your time be wasted in a relationship with someone that isnt looking for the same future you want for yourself. I can guarantee you that there’s someone out there you can compliment your life the way you want, without you having to compromise your goals!