Do Not Compromise Yourself!

Hey guys! I know its been a few days since my last post, but i’ve been pretty sick. Yeah, lot’s of fun, lol, but im taking it all in stride, as signs that my little jelly bean is getting big and strong! I hit the six week mark on Sunday, which is exciting, because it means just one more week before the hubby and I go to our first prenatal appointment on Monday! It also means that he/she is now the size of a sweet pea! Yay!

But anywho, on to todays post. I dont know if any of you guys watch VH1′s Tough Love, but its a show where 7 (?) women who all have problems with dating/choosing men are put through a boot camp kind of thing where they learn valuable things about relationships. While this past Sunday’s episode had a PLETHORA of complete nonsense occur, I would like to focus on Jaqueline, whose problem was that she was SUPER focused on being married by the time she turned 25. Last week, guests were brought to the house, one of which was Jaqueline’s ex, Greg. Now, the problem with Greg was that he didnt want to get married until he was 30. And Jaqueline was really broken hearted about this. And to this….. I say……get over it, dummy. Now, this may seem a little harsh, but seriously. When you venture into the world of adult relationships, with the possibility that it will lead to marriage, it’s important that you are very up front with your intentions from the beginning.

When my husband and I met (Via facebook, btw) future plans, i.e. kids, marriage, financial goals, etc were talked about before we even took the official step into dating. Ladies, DONT WASTE YOUR TIME. If marriage is what you are looking for, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making your intentions clear. Im not, by any means, saying that you should rush a man into marriage, because thats an EXCELLENT way to NOT get a ring on your finger. But what I am saying, dont spend two years of your life with a man only to find out he never wants to get married, doesnt want kids, has horrible finances, has 4 piles of credit card debt, doesnt want to get married until he’s 40, etc, etc. These things should be discussed as soon as it is mutually agreed that the relationship is getting serious.

My husband knew up front how i felt about marriage, kids, and what my financial status was. I let him know that I would only stay in the relationship for a year without a ring on my finger. I was ready to be married, and there was no point in either of us wasting any time. I felt like a year was enough time to get to know each other well enough that we could make a decision on our future. Now, this may not be the case for everyone, everyone has their own time period that they feel is acceptable. I told him he had a year to decide, he proposed after six months. I didnt force him, and it wasnt an ultimatum. I MADE MY INTENTIONS CLEAR. If he didnt agree with my time limit, that would have been fine. God was on my side, so I knew that if Byron was the husband that was meant for me, it would be for me. But Im off on a tangent, lol. The point that Im trying to make is, ladies, dont let your time be wasted in a relationship with someone that isnt looking for the same future you want for yourself. I can guarantee you that there’s someone out there you can compliment your life the way you want, without you having to compromise your goals!

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Comments

Do Not Compromise Yourself! — 7 Comments

  1. I watch that show!
    It’s pretty dumb for her to be hurt by someone who I’m sure has already told her before that’s not what he was ready for yet.

    She seems like a true “Southern Belle” type of girl to me and I don’t say that in a positive way either. lol

    She doesn’t look 23(?) either. =/

  2. congrats on over 100 followers hun!

    I agree with everything your saying ..I have been with my bf for almost 3 years..

    we were both upfront..
    were both looking for the same things :)

    Thanks for sharing <3

  3. i agree. you should make your intentions clear to anyone you’re serious about. i can honestly say that i’m not ready to get married at all and don’t want to have children. but then again, i know i will someday. i’ll definitely make it clear to whomever i’m serious about dating.

  4. Music to my eard is all I have to say!!!
    And although I don’t watch that show, I know what you mean about making our intentions clear, if not – whats the point?

    Every woman should read this post :) and you are a living proof that its The if not One of the way to go –

    Happy Marriage to you and all the best to your growing Family.

  5. hey girl! i just found your blog and this post really caught my eye. I’ve been watching Tough Love too! IDK why I’m so obsessed with reality TV! haha But I think it’s sad for the girls out there who are like Jacquelyn because I think somehow in their mind they really believe that the longer they stay with someone, they’ll be able to change a man’s mind or something into getting married! I saw the end of the show too and she totally missed out on Brock! He may have even wanted the same thing she did but she went back to her ex just because they’ve been together so long. I got married at 18 when I was planning to get married at 30! Things happen for a reason and if he doesn’t wanna marry you, he won’t! Anyway I love this post! =] and your blog is so cute! haha

  6. Hi!

    I just stumbled across your site whilst googling a problem I am having. I LOVED this post and read the rest of your posts and think you are awesome (and am going to enter for a handbag – cool!)

    Anyway, I was wondering if you could do a post to give me some ideas what I should do.

    My situation: I am with a man who I love deeply. He loves me deeply. We have been together for 15 months. I want to get married soon and start having kids. He wants to wait a while. Its not that long really, he wants to get get engaged once we have been together for 2 and a half to three years, get married a year after that and then have a baby a year after that.

    Thing is, I don’t see the point in waiting. I love him, want to be with him forever. He loves me, wants to be with me forever. He wants to get married. I want to get married. Its just the timeline that is different.

    Problem is, I really want to be married to him. Every moment we aren’t married I feel like something is missing. I can’t describe it properly, its like I just really yearn to be his wife and have him as my husband. I feel like its so natural for us to be married I get confused and hurt and upset that we aren’t.

    I have tried describing this to him, but he doesn’t understand and thinks I am being overly emotional (I am emotional whereas he is logical) and also trying to push him into it.

    I was expecting him to propose on our year anniversary, and got very sad when he didn’t. We discussed it all and so now I know his position and he knows mine. Problem is we are in stalemate. I want to marry him now, he wants to wait a couple of years.

    Needless to say its a very upsetting situation. With the exception of this one problem (which lets face it, is a big one…!) everything is perfect. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to give him an ultimatum, but I don’t want to live like this either.

    Sorry for rambling on and on, I just feel like you could really help. Thanks :)

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