Im 22 years old. I’m married, have been for a little over a year now. My husband and I are expecting our first child. Im frustrated. Very, very, very frustrated.
Im frustrated because earlier this morning, as I browsing my online birth group at
Now, let me explain why this frustrates me so badly. I was 20 years old when my husband proposed to me…..yet I was told these very same things. And none of them ever made sense to me. They didn’t then, and they still don’t now. What is it about life, and love, and the “real world” that’s so oblivious to me now, but will suddenly become so apparent once I turn 25? I don’t understand. From the time I left for college, at 18, to the point where I met my husband, at 20, I had lived PLENTY. I had lots and lots of experience in this world that everyone seems so adamant that I should have “lived more of” before I settled down and started a family. I had lived, loved, studied, partied, worked, quit, passed, failed, broken hearts, been broken-hearted, argued, fought, hated, laughed, cried, given up, persevered, paid bills, not paid bills, accumulated stupid debt, all the things that “adults” do, and to me……there’s only so much of that you can do before you’re ready to really start your life. I was tired of practicing at it.
I find it beyond my understanding that in today’s world, people are spreading STD’s at 14 years old, terminating pregnancies not because of medical reasons, but as a form of birth control. AIDS is rampant, especially in the black community, children are being raised without fathers, or for that matter, without their mothers, filling foster homes with unwanted children that are the products of one-night stands, drug induced sexual misconduct, incest and rape, but a young girl who wants to get married, and bring children into a family full of love is OUT OF HER MIND! AT THIS AGE? IS SHE CRAZY?
This makes me worry about our mindsets. It’s ok for her to sleep around, you know, “play the field”, but get married? Wow, send her the psychiatrist, quickly, something MUST be wrong with her. She hasn’t had enough time to develop selfish habits. She hasn’t been in the world long enough to have to take that scary trip to the health center to see if she’s been “burned” or not. She hasn’t had a pregnancy scare yet. She hasn’t had her heart broken enough times yet. She doesn’t even know herself yet, how can she know HIM well enough to get married?
Wow, just wow.
P.S, I am NOT trying to down anyone who waited until they were WHATEVER age to settle down or not settle down, have kids or not have kids. My point in writing this post is to get across that AGE does not determine your readiness to get married and have children. It’s a maturity thing. I know people that are in their 40’s and are still just as childish and self-serving as my 8 year old nephews. I also know teenagers who are wise, way beyond their years. Just because something is not the way that you or I would like it to be, doesn’t give us the right to judge someone else’s situation. If you get married at 18, right out of high school, im not going to jump to the conclusion that you must be in a rush, or covering up a pregnancy. If you get married when you’re 35, once you’re established in your career, I won’t think that you hate kids, and that all you care about is your job. It’s STUPID for me to make assumptions about your situation, because I DON’T know you.
*sigh* I cant rant about this all day long, a magical power that I gained upon pregnancy, so I’ll stop here.
If you read this far, thanks for reading!
If not, I totally get it, this was a really long post, lol.