So, at yesterday’s sermon, our pastor preached on the importance of being “ready” before you enter a relationship with someone. No matter how much someone else may want a “real” relationship for you (mom, sister, grandma, all those folks who keep telling you they need some grandbabies) it won’t successfully happen for you until you’re where you need to be. He told us that there are 3 main indicators that will tell you when you’re ready.
- Time to heal : You must allow yourself time to “get over” previous relationships. It’s extremely unfair to the other person to bring fresh wounds into a budding love. If you take time for yourself, to reflect on what went wrong in that relationship, it can be like a fog is lifted, and you can see more clearly what you want and need from the next person you decide to invest your time and interest into.
- Find wholeness in God : I believe his exact quote was that “Two incomplete people cannot make a whole couple.” While I personally believe that wholeness in God is one of the very best traits a person can have, even if you’re not a religious person, it’s important to be complete on your own, so that you’re not looking for a man/woman to fill in the gaps. You should be seeking a partner/spouse that compliments you, not one that completes you. Why? Because if that person leaves you, guess where that leaves you? Yep. Full of holes.
- Know who you are : THIS. YES! You do NOT want to find yourself 5 years into a relationship/marriage wondering how you got there, and whether or not it’s where you want to be. Take time to learn what YOU want from your life, because it would probably not be a very happy situation to be in if after investing years of time, energy, and love into someone, the two of you aren’t even on the same page. Or maybe even not in the same book.
Once you’ve met those 3 indicators, he stressed to us that it’s important to know that you have options, and don’t have to settle for less than what you want in your life. He even (somewhat) suggested making a list, so that you have to actually think about the characteristics and traits you want from your spouse. HOWEVER, this list is NOT supposed to be based on shallow wants. It’s important to be attracted to your partner, but basing everything you want on shallow things is probably going to lead you back to the begining of those 3 indicators!
So what do you think about this? If you are married, or in a committed relationship, would you have been able to check the things mentioned above off of your list before you entered your current relationship? If not, what were your results? Have you found success anyway? What’s your story?