(Just a note before you read this post: This is MY experience. In no way, shape, or form should this be taken as example of what anyone else’s experience was, is, or will be. Even though I don’t think the previous sentence was grammatically correct. Basically, what I’m saying is, please don’t let what I’m about to say scare you, or discourage you.)
Can I tell you guys something? I’m really tired of stressing about breastfeeding. I’m tired of taking 10-15 fenugreek pills a day to keep my milk supply up,because for some crazy reason my body wont cooperate. I’m tired of my supply almost completely drying up, causing a fussy, hungry baby every time my cycle comes around. I’m tired of worrying about the balance between eating too much/not enough to sustain my supply. I’m tired of worrying about losing weight too quickly, for fear of toxins getting in the breastmilk. Reading this, it probably sounds like I’m just whining about a bunch of nothing, but seriously guys? It’s wearing me down.
I can offer great advice about breastfeeding. I was even asked to be a local breastfeeding peer counselor! So why, why, why do I have so much trouble with my OWN breastfeeding? I’ve researched and done everything. I’ve talked with both lactation consultants at the hospital, and still no luck.
So…..I’m done. Not done breastfeeding, at least not for now, but I’m done stressing about it. No more pills, no more pumping around the clock. No more stuffing myself for extra calories. So let’s see what happens. We’ve had a great 6 months so far. I feel good about having made it this far, but the stress and anxiety…..I just can’t keep dealing with that.
We bought a can of formula. $22 for about 5 days worth of feedings. Gaaaahhhh. It reminded me of a very large positive of breastfeeding: It’s FREE!! In a month, I would spend close to what I spend on our groceries for the month. Ridiculous!
The crazy thing? Since we’ve had the formula in the house, it hasn’t even been needed. My milk supply has been right on target. Maybe the relief of not being worried about whether or not Izzy is going to get enough to eat? We’ll see. Hopefully my body just needed to be scared into submission. Maybe the threat of being replaced with formula made my milk supply decide to get it’s act together, lol.