Who decided that “Super-Mom” was something that women should aspire to? That taking care of a house, taking care of kids, working, tending to a spouse, and maybe, possibly (but probably not) finding time to yourself was a desirable level of responsibility? Whoever it was….tell them I said…well, don’t tell them anything I said, because what I have to say isn’t very nice, or clean, so….I’ll keep that to myself.
Maybe I’m lazy. Maybe I’m just disorganized. Maybe I’m just not good enough to do it. Whatever the case may be, I will no longer spend my time trying to be “Best in Show” at everything that I’m supposed to be doing. Why? Because I think it’s impossible.
I can’t give myself 100% to every.little.thing. And if you can….stop lying. In trying to be miss “I can do it!” about everything, and taking on the full responsibility of all these things…guess what? I’m not doing that great at any of them. Because I don’t have the energy to. And it’s not ALL my responsibility. I have a husband. Who wants to help. Whose willing to help. But since I
stay at home with Izzy all day eating bonbons work from home. I “should” be able to do it myself. Right? So, in the 9(?) hours between when I wake up, and when Byron gets home from work, I “should” have: (items in red are what ACTUALLY get done, consistently)
- a spotless house
- happy, well-taken care of clients
- inventory created for my online store
- played with Izzy, and given her plenty of attention
- Made sure Izzy was clean, and fed, and alive
- tended to the garden
- worked out
- run all errands
- cooked dinner
And Byron shouldn’t have to do anything when he gets home. Right? That’s the way it’s supposed to work? <insert “Chile, please”>
So, in my house (After Byron has suggested it, I don’t know 15 times?) we now have a big calendar, and a chore chart. These tools will be used to ensure that we are getting time in with each other actually doing things, instead of wasting away in front of watching TV, and also that the household responsibilities are being shared fairly, and in a way that keeps my husband and I from going insane. Now I can keep up with his schedule, and he can keep up with mine. And we can create some sort of organization instead of chaos.
I’m ok with not being a supermom. Totally. I’ll accept being a great wife, and a great mom. I’ll do my best at building my business. And I’ll fit some time for myself somewhere in there. But this “I can do everything, and be the best at it” ….Well…. in the words of the late, great Bernie Mac…. “Aww, that’s some bull—-“