I’m a little…ok, a lot confused about what I want to “do” with my life. Byron and I have recently been discussing if/when I will return to school to finish my degree. I “want” to go back, but honestly, I don’t really even know what I want to do with the degree once I have it! On one hand, Visual Luxe has been good to me, and a business degree, along with a few design/coding classes could really take me to a whole new level. But on the other hand…do I really even want to do this for the rest of my life? When I first started college, it was with the intention of becoming a teacher. Do I still want to do that? Or maybe even teach graphic design? But I could do that without spending money on an expensive degree. I could teach people to do that online, right from my own home. Would having the degree even “really” give me anything that I need, other than a feeling of accomplishment? I could probably just take the classes I want individually, without having to bother with physical education, and trigonometry, and astronomy, and other “onomies” that I will never, in the future of any and everything, ever use.
Then, I have to consider the fact that if I decide to go to school full time, ummm…somebody is going to have to take care of Izzy. So in addition to tuition costs, daycare costs. Not to mention, we’re going to be TTC early next year. Do I really want to take classes while I have “mommy-brain”? And then the year after that, do I want to miss out on a lot of baby’s first year because I wanted to take classes that I could easily put off?
I feel like kind of a failure. I’m 24 years old. I should know what I want my career to be by now, right? Or maybe this was the best way. Putting off going back to school until I “knew” what I wanted to do. I know a lot of people who have degrees in fields they don’t even want to work in. As I’ve typed this out, I’m really leaning toward just taking classes that would benefit my business. And doing them online, through the local University. After all, if in say, 2 years, I decide that I “do” want to move forward and finish my degree, I’ll have those credits already earned, right? I definitely wouldn’t be ready to do anything until at least the summer session of next year, so I guess I have time to decide.