Life Changing

Life Changing

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So on Facebook, there’s this memory feature, right? It shows you your posts from that day, from previous years. The above photo is me, receiving a breathing treatment two years ago today.

At that time, I was a full time student, running a business, being a mom and wife, and also trying to make time to write. It was a lot. I was stressed, and exhausted, but determined not to drop any of those balls.

And then this happened.

I was on campus, rushing to class. I took the stairs up two floors, like I always did, except this time, I couldn’t catch my breath after. I sat through class, heart racing, panicking, quietly. I barely got to my next class, but when I did, my professor took one look at me and told me to go to student health services. So I did.

They tried a lot to figure out what was wrong. I ended up in the emergency room, then back to student health the next morning, which is when that picture was taken. Then to a cardiologist, for ultrasounds, and stress tests, and Halter monitors.

All of that for them to ultimately decide I’d basically been having a slow, extended panic attack.

And it made sense.

I was so consumed with not dropping anything that I hadn’t taken the time to really look at it if I was actually happy with what I was doing. I was 27 years old needing to visit a cardiologist because I had a bunch of stuff piled on me that I didn’t even really want to be doing.

I finished that semester, but I haven’t been back. Maybe eventually I will, but the degree would honestly be vanity for me right now. I no longer run my graphic design business either, because that was a whole other level of stress.

Now, I write.
I mom.
I wife.
And that’s not to say I never have stressful days, cause I definitely do, but they aren’t like before. Now, at the root, I at least WANT to do the things I’m dragging myself out of the bed for in the morning.

And that makes a world of difference – I haven’t had another panic attack since.

2 Comments
  • Sierra
    Posted at 10:54h, 06 March Reply

    Good for you!!! I’m happy you are in a better place in your life.

  • Faith Simone
    Posted at 06:57h, 11 April Reply

    The way our bodies are designed continues to amaze me. Your body gave you intense signals THEN to avoid severe consequences LATER. So glad you took heed and made some major lifestyle changes. So many people ignore the signs and end up hospitalized later. Glad you’re ok and really glad writing made it on the short list! I love your books and I’m stalking your branding and promotion strategies. Keep up the great work!

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