Sample Sunday: Chasing Commitment

CCcover“If you stare at her any harder, she’s gonna call the cops on you. Contrary to popular belief, most women don’t like being stared at by strange men.” My friend — and former almost-victim— Tori lowered the dessert menu, peering at me over the top with a raised eyebrow.  It hid most of her face, but I could tell that behind it, she was laughing at me.  I could see that shit in her eyes, and I wasn’t amused.

“I’m not staring, so you can wipe that little smirk off your face.”

“Smirk?” she said innocently, snapping the leather-bound menu closed. “Me smirking at you would imply that I was teasing you, Brandon, and I would never do that to you.” She gave me a syrupy-sweet smile, but my eyes were already traveling back to the pretty waitress , who I’d been accused of staring at. I wasn’t staring at her, I was admiring the view of ample hips and ass as she passed our table to retrieve a pitcher, then came back to pour water for another group of customers.

Tori grinned across the table, shooting me a wink as she switched her half-empty glass with mine, just before the waitress turned to our table, noticing that the drink needed filling, and approached us with a smile.

“Would you like more water, sir?” she asked, in the same warm, polite voice she always used with customers.  Or at least, I hoped she used it with all of the customers.  One day I came to Izzy’s for dinner and she must have been just getting off, because she was standing outside on her phone, talking to — I assumed– some lucky bastard in a sultry tone that kinda made my dick hard just thinking about it.  So yeah, I chose to believe that she was holding back the sexy voice for everybody, not just me.

Truth be told, there was only so much sexy that Nadia could hold back.  That was her name, according to the engraved gold tag pinned above her left breast, just a few inches away from supple pecan-colored cleavage that I would have a much better view of if just one more of the buttons of her crisp white shirt had been left undone. Damn shame. I sat in her section as often as I could, hoping to strike up a conversation with her, but just like now, she was reserved, even though she was always friendly.

“Please,” I nodded, returning her smile as she leaned forward for the glass. Tori’s eyes brimmed with amusement as she watched me watch Nadia refill my glass.  When she was done, she turned to Tori to ask if she wanted dessert, and when Tori declined, told us she would be back with the check.

As soon as Nadia stepped away from the table, Tori smirked again as she switched our glasses back. She nudged me under the table with her foot.  “So… why don’t you ask her out?”

I shrugged. “Boyfriend,” I mumbled, even though I had no idea if she had a man or not. I wasn’t about to tell Tori the real reason I wasn’t eager to approach Nadia.

Tori tilted her head to the side, drawing her eyebrows into the middle of her forehead. “Wow. So you really have changed then, huh Brandon? It never seemed to matter to you when I was dating someone. You never held back on your little freaky propositions… until Avery.”

“Until Avery,” I agreed with a nod, biting back a twinge of bitterness as I tipped my glass in her direction before I raised it to my mouth. Sure, Tori was all brown-sugar skin, thick curly hair, and a banging body, but Avery was my boy. I knew her first, through a friend’s wife that she visited here in San Diego every summer,but he was the one who’d captured her heart, so I respected that.  Besides, Tori was a friend as well. If I’d ever gotten the vibe that she was serious about any of the clowns she was with before— her ex-husband included— I would have backed off. One look in her eyes when she talked about him told me Tori was really fucking serious about Avery.

“It’s too bad though, B. She’s really pretty, and she’s got a nice vibe. I can tell. I like her for you.” Tori was wearing a sneaky little smile I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with.

I lifted an eyebrow. “What do you mean you like her for me?”

“Don’t worry about it. But listen, maybe you should leave her your card or something.”

“Why would I do that? She— or her lil’ boyfriend— is just gonna throw it away,” I scoffed, shifting uncomfortably in my seat.

“No, she won’t.” Tori hesitated, rolling her eyes as if the next words were hard for her to say. “Straight women don’t throw away cards from… men that look like you, B. We tuck them away in a safe place for when we break up with our man and we’re looking for rebound sex.”

“And you know this because… you have a stash hidden somewhere?”

Tori sucked her teeth. “Of course not….”

“I’m telling Avery,” I teased. “You’re walking around looking all good and shit, collecting numbers for when he fucks up.”

“Trust me, if Avery messes up, the last thing he needs to worry about is me having another man’s contact info.  He’ll need to be more concerned about his bal….” She let her voice trail off without finishing the statement as Nadia approached the table to drop off the check with another one of her carefully measured smiles. As soon as she turned away, Tori kicked me under the table. “Leave a card. I’m not playing. And flirt a little, for God’s sake, what’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know what to say!”

Tori froze, with her top lip curled in disgust. “Who are you, and what have you done with Brandon? Are you serious right now?”

Cruising, Again

itinerary mapThis time next week, the Jones family will be embarking on the hellish fun adventure of a 17-hour drive to Miami to board the ship for our second family cruise.  We’re doing Eastern Caribbean this time, with stops in the Bahamas, St.Thomas, Puerto Rico, and Grand Turk.

Did I mention that we haven’t done anything yet?  Well, not exactly nothing.  I’ve made sure that the entire family has bathing suits, and we’ve thought about what we’re going to eat, but that’s about it. But, that’s part of the fun of cruising, right?  You don’t really have to think about it.

Seriously though, it’s this drive time that’s giving me the most blues.  I’m not looking forward to all of these hours in the car with small children, but airfare to Miami for 3 of us (Zoe isn’t two yet) would be $1,000 dollars, so yeah, pass.

Anyway, we’ll be stopping in Tallahassee to spend the night, and regroup, and then on to Miami, to spend the night and regroup again before we board the ship. Our hotel rooms are already booked, but I would appreciate restaurant recommendations and a (very small) something to do in those cities if you know of anything!

Anyway, I’ll of course let you guys know how a 17 hour drive with a not quite 5 year old and a not quite 2 year old went, as well as cruising with this pair.  When we went last time, Izzy was two, so she could go to the onsite kid’s facility, Camp Carnival if we wanted her to.  No such luck with Zoe this time, but we found an EXCELLENT deal on this cruise, so we’re taking advantage of it, and the kids will just be tagging along this time.
I will also most certainly voice my displeasure if this ends up being another one of Carnival’s “poop cruises” lmbo. I swear, if that happens, I will never stop talking about that shi– Okay, that’s a bad pun, but you get it.

cruiseitineraryI’m hoping to get in some rest and relaxation, have some fun, see some sights, and if I’m lucky, maybe even get some writing in. With the mistakes we made the first time around, we’re hoping for an even better experience than last time.  One thing I’m definitely doing differently this time is the packing. For me, all dress everything. And minimal shoes. Nobody has time to be lugging around unnecessary luggage, so I’m taking 7 dresses (the ship has laundry service, which we used last time with no trouble), a pair of jeans for just in case, and I’m gonna make myself choose from only TWO pairs of sandals, and a pair of flats for exploring the ports. Dassit.  We’ll see how THAT goes as well.

Hair-wise, I have twists right now that were supposed to last me through this trip, but I’m feeling pretty ‘meh’ about them. I think I want a curly weave instead, but not sure how it will hold up to getting wet in the ocean. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be practical and just stick with the twists though. For the kids, Izzy has twists right now too,  that I’ll redo today probably, and Zoe… that child destroys any hairstyle I attempt, so I think she’s getting some prison-style cornrows and a prayer for the best.

Wish us luck!